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Nov. 14th, 2006 10:33 pmAlright, so here's your several times a year post that Im sure you're all sick of by now.
Do other people feel like they have random bursts of crazy? Like, not the occasional desire to murder someone that cuts you off in traffic or to poison the water supply of a lady who took the last loaf of french bread at the supermarket, but more like the "I cant stand the way that I look anymore, so I just start running and running, imagining the fat melting off my bones every time my feet hit the pavement," type crazy. The "My body feels like its filled up with all the little day to day lies and bullshit and I feel the nearly overwhelming compulsion to tell everyone every bad thing I've ever done," type crazy. Is this just part of the bipolar? Is this some other crazy? It seems to happen about once a week, for about a day. There will be some thought that my brain just latches on to and cant stop repeating. I rarely act on whatever my brain is obsessing on, but Im getting really sick of having to deal with it. I was able to get back on my medicine way sooner than I thought I would be able to (thank god for phone in prescriptions and promises of blood level checks at my next appointments), so I know Im not just being weird off my medicine or something akin to that.
Sometimes, I get really really tired of feeling different and crazy. Well, I guess that sentence should just read, "Im really really sick of feeling different and crazy," as it isnt really a sometimes kind of deal.
*grumbleschmumble*
Do other people feel like they have random bursts of crazy? Like, not the occasional desire to murder someone that cuts you off in traffic or to poison the water supply of a lady who took the last loaf of french bread at the supermarket, but more like the "I cant stand the way that I look anymore, so I just start running and running, imagining the fat melting off my bones every time my feet hit the pavement," type crazy. The "My body feels like its filled up with all the little day to day lies and bullshit and I feel the nearly overwhelming compulsion to tell everyone every bad thing I've ever done," type crazy. Is this just part of the bipolar? Is this some other crazy? It seems to happen about once a week, for about a day. There will be some thought that my brain just latches on to and cant stop repeating. I rarely act on whatever my brain is obsessing on, but Im getting really sick of having to deal with it. I was able to get back on my medicine way sooner than I thought I would be able to (thank god for phone in prescriptions and promises of blood level checks at my next appointments), so I know Im not just being weird off my medicine or something akin to that.
Sometimes, I get really really tired of feeling different and crazy. Well, I guess that sentence should just read, "Im really really sick of feeling different and crazy," as it isnt really a sometimes kind of deal.
*grumbleschmumble*
