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Oct. 16th, 2006 11:51 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terrorlynnSo, I dont know why I feel the need to get this off my chest, but I feel like I need to get it out of my head. It involves a frank discussion about matters regarding my sexuality and sexual practices, so click only if you feel like you'd like to know what goes on inside my head.
So, I've had this image in my head for a while now. It pops in to the front of my thoughts at random times, and it always gives me pause. I picture myself hanging upside down, my hair loose and flowing towards the floor. My eyes are closed, and there are mascara tears smeared all down my cheeks. My lips are stained red in the centers, like I've just eaten a pint of strawberries. A gold crucifix necklace my grandfather got me for my first communion is hanging from my neck, so that the cross rests vertically across my loosely closed lips. Its got all these finely wrought twists of gold all over it, and a pink gold heart in the middle. The image just focuses on my face. I've always gotten beautiful pictures stuck in my head, with no way of creating them. I just dont have the talent for it.
Weird, huh?
It also feeds in to a realization I had last night. I have an art fetish. Not like, I want to collect art, but like, I want to BE art. I've always dreamt of having the face or the body or something that inspires beautiful art. I know that I dont, but its something I dream of. I think it would be so erotic to be a piece of art. Not a model, but an art piece. I dont exactly know how to explain it. It just seems so sexy to me. No real idea why.
I guess I should get back to work.
So, I've had this image in my head for a while now. It pops in to the front of my thoughts at random times, and it always gives me pause. I picture myself hanging upside down, my hair loose and flowing towards the floor. My eyes are closed, and there are mascara tears smeared all down my cheeks. My lips are stained red in the centers, like I've just eaten a pint of strawberries. A gold crucifix necklace my grandfather got me for my first communion is hanging from my neck, so that the cross rests vertically across my loosely closed lips. Its got all these finely wrought twists of gold all over it, and a pink gold heart in the middle. The image just focuses on my face. I've always gotten beautiful pictures stuck in my head, with no way of creating them. I just dont have the talent for it.
Weird, huh?
It also feeds in to a realization I had last night. I have an art fetish. Not like, I want to collect art, but like, I want to BE art. I've always dreamt of having the face or the body or something that inspires beautiful art. I know that I dont, but its something I dream of. I think it would be so erotic to be a piece of art. Not a model, but an art piece. I dont exactly know how to explain it. It just seems so sexy to me. No real idea why.
I guess I should get back to work.
