terrorlynn | (no subject)

So, um...Travis pointed something out to me, and my therapist has talked to me about this before, but I guess I dont really understand how to change it. I feel obligated to do whatever people ask of me, even people I dont like. I do things for people, like drive them places or help them move furniture, not always just because its a nice thing for a friend to do, but because i feel like i HAVE to do it. Like maybe, if I didnt do it, if I said no...that person wouldnt like me anymore. Its not just a problem with my friends, but with people I dont even like. I want to do what they ask me. I want to be the person they can always depend on to do what they need/want of me.

I sound like a codependent 13 year old.

I know that isnt what friendship is about, that people will still be my friends if I dont do what they want all the time. And Im getting better at it, but saying no is still really hard for me.

How do I get over this fear and develop a little more of a spine???

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Just start saying no as a matter of practice. Don't even think about it. Don't give excuses why not. Just say no. As an exercise.

After you've done that for about a month, go back to thinking about the questions being asked. You'll realize that no one hates you as a result and that it is possible to say no to requests without reprecussions.