(no subject)

[terrorlynn]

So, um...Travis pointed something out to me, and my therapist has talked to me about this before, but I guess I dont really understand how to change it. I feel obligated to do whatever people ask of me, even people I dont like. I do things for people, like drive them places or help them move furniture, not always just because its a nice thing for a friend to do, but because i feel like i HAVE to do it. Like maybe, if I didnt do it, if I said no...that person wouldnt like me anymore. Its not just a problem with my friends, but with people I dont even like. I want to do what they ask me. I want to be the person they can always depend on to do what they need/want of me.

I sound like a codependent 13 year old.

I know that isnt what friendship is about, that people will still be my friends if I dont do what they want all the time. And Im getting better at it, but saying no is still really hard for me.

How do I get over this fear and develop a little more of a spine???

Comments

Consider this -

[helpful-ninja.livejournal.com]

Folks may ask you for something, but what they also want, or /should/ want, is the truth. Hell, even if they don't want the truth, they should be prepared for it.

And sometimes that truth - about you and from you - is legitimately that you cannot do the thing they want you to do, or that you simply do not want to do it.

I am a firm believer that being honest with people is more important than pleasing them.

Re: Consider this -

[chuckdawg.livejournal.com]

Nope. It's on the record now.

Mike + Banach 4EVA