terrorlynn (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
terrorlynn) wrote2006-12-03 12:25 am
terrorlynn) wrote2006-12-03 12:25 am
(no subject)
So, um...Travis pointed something out to me, and my therapist has talked to me about this before, but I guess I dont really understand how to change it. I feel obligated to do whatever people ask of me, even people I dont like. I do things for people, like drive them places or help them move furniture, not always just because its a nice thing for a friend to do, but because i feel like i HAVE to do it. Like maybe, if I didnt do it, if I said no...that person wouldnt like me anymore. Its not just a problem with my friends, but with people I dont even like. I want to do what they ask me. I want to be the person they can always depend on to do what they need/want of me.
I sound like a codependent 13 year old.
I know that isnt what friendship is about, that people will still be my friends if I dont do what they want all the time. And Im getting better at it, but saying no is still really hard for me.
How do I get over this fear and develop a little more of a spine???
I sound like a codependent 13 year old.
I know that isnt what friendship is about, that people will still be my friends if I dont do what they want all the time. And Im getting better at it, but saying no is still really hard for me.
How do I get over this fear and develop a little more of a spine???
no subject
Of course, easier said than done. I'm still working on this myself. I find myself bending over backwards to be there for people because I want to be that person. This is the key question for me: WOULD the person do it if you asked them to? If the answer is no, then screw 'em. Say "no" with a smile on your face (or the "get back to you" thing).