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Dec. 3rd, 2006 12:25 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
terrorlynnSo, um...Travis pointed something out to me, and my therapist has talked to me about this before, but I guess I dont really understand how to change it. I feel obligated to do whatever people ask of me, even people I dont like. I do things for people, like drive them places or help them move furniture, not always just because its a nice thing for a friend to do, but because i feel like i HAVE to do it. Like maybe, if I didnt do it, if I said no...that person wouldnt like me anymore. Its not just a problem with my friends, but with people I dont even like. I want to do what they ask me. I want to be the person they can always depend on to do what they need/want of me.
I sound like a codependent 13 year old.
I know that isnt what friendship is about, that people will still be my friends if I dont do what they want all the time. And Im getting better at it, but saying no is still really hard for me.
How do I get over this fear and develop a little more of a spine???
I sound like a codependent 13 year old.
I know that isnt what friendship is about, that people will still be my friends if I dont do what they want all the time. And Im getting better at it, but saying no is still really hard for me.
How do I get over this fear and develop a little more of a spine???
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Date: 2006-12-03 08:32 pm (UTC)Now you just need practice. So I'm going to call you FREQUENTLY and bug you to do stuff for me that you shouldn't do or can't do. YOU WILL SAY NO, NO MATTER WHAT IT IS.
This will give you practice and also show you that you won't turn inside out if you say "no"
Love!
-e