terrorlynn: (Default)

Thai Chicken & Shrimp Soup
Originally uploaded by terrorlynn.
So, I made this up tonight after realizing how much I had been dying for Thai food. It came out really well, except for the fact that I didnt have kefir lime leaves or lemongrass. It came out well, anyways.
terrorlynn: (Default)

Originally uploaded by terrorlynn.

I've made this post mostly for redflame_86, so that she doesnt feel too lame about being so excited about her Hoover. I got Samantha here for Christmas, assembled her myself, and i LOVE her :). I guess that this doesnt make you any less lame, but it does mean you arent the ONLY lame one :)
terrorlynn: (adults?)
Damn it...Im going to have to go to a doctor.

Here's the scoop: About two years ago, I started having really bad stomach/intestinal cramps that would come on with no warning or obvious cause. I kept a journal of what happened when the cramps came so I could try to find a pattern, and I couldnt find anything. When I went in for my last checkup at my obgyn, i asked her about it. She recommended performing an ultrasound, and I did (this was two summers ago). They didnt find anything. So, I tried the good old standby of ignorning it. They didnt go away, and they've steadilly gotten worse. Now, when they happen, I double over in pain and cant do a damn thing until they pass.

About a year ago, Travis convinced me to go to a gastroentrologist in Peoria (because there isnt a single one closer to Macomb than that). Basically, the doctor said that because I didnt have a family medical history, they couldnt easilly diagnose me as having irritable bowel syndrome, but that they wanted to do a colonoscopy. I asked her what it would mean if i did have IBS. She said that I would have to stop eating spicy foods, most cheeses, no fatty meats, no sodas, very little to no alcohol...basically made a list longer than I am tall of things i couldnt do anymore. I pretty much said "Balls to that and balls to the colonoscopy! I am NOT drinking a fizzy drink that tastes like ass for 24 hours, not eating, not drinking anything but water and clear broth, all so you can shove a very long camera up my ass. OH, AND making my husband take a day off work to drive me to Peoria and back, as i'd be under sedation and couldnt drive myself home. Thanks, but no thanks."

Ive kept right on with the ignoring it. Still hasnt gotten any better, but has kept up with the getting worse. Now, whenever i burp, stomach acid comes up. Whenever i bend suddenly at my waist, stomach acid comes up. The cramps are happening about once a week now, when they used to happen maybe once every other month.

Just 20 minutes ago, I was organizing some stock in the side room here at Monets Gardens and bent over suddenly...and about half a cup of pinkish-red stomach acid just came right out of my mouth. Scared the shit out of me, enough that Im going to try to do something about it again.

I dont know what's wrong with me, but Im sure as hell not going back to the doc with the shittiest bedside manner in the world again. Im going to make an appointment with a GP over in Roseville to see if maybe a doctor that isnt trying to rush me in and out of their office will be able to help me figure this out. All I know is that Im not even going to look at WebMD or anything, because lord knows that I'd end up thinking I've got stomach cancer or something.

This freaking sucks.
terrorlynn: (lightning)
This is not a thing I usually articulate on LJ...but...


My lovely friend John (MRK) called me this afternoon to let me know that he and his sweetie will be coming to Shibaricon this year! I have really been missing my friends from across the pond, and to know that at least some of them will be coming. Im still waiting to hear on a few...Another thing I noticed while speaking to John today is that any time I speak to someone with an non-American accent, I feel slightly unsophisticated and undereducated. Here, everyone looks at me funny when I call them 'love' or say things like, 'banahhhnahhh' ;).

Also, Travis called me this morning to tell me that as of the 1st of Feb, his raise is effective...and its a nice raise. The bonus rocks too.

Now, if only it would warm up just a few damn degrees for me to walk home.........
terrorlynn: (Default)
I just had a horrible realization (they happen a lot when im left alone to think too much).

I've always wanted kids. Particularly, I've always wanted babies. When they get older, they rock, but Im really partial to babies.

I think this is because I want something/someone that needs me. Not just needs me to do certain things, but inherently NEEDS me to continue to exist.

I need to be needed in order to feel good about myself. I can bust my ass for people over and over and over again, as long as I feel like whatever I've done for them can only be done by me.

I want my husband home now.
terrorlynn: (pills)
So far, worst New Years Eve in recent history. Bears lost to the stupid fucking Packers, and our plumbing has backed up. Its a quarter after 11 on New Years Eve, and we have no functional plumbing. Travis is sick.

Hes making me go out and be social.

He says I cant run to my computer.

I think he lies, but I guess I should listen. Godiva and cream is calling me. If I get shitfaced, NYE wont suck as bad.

Oh, and Travis chopped off all his hair yesterday and now looks like a replica of Jon Stewart. Hes always going to give me my moment of zen, if you get my drift.

Fuckin new year.
terrorlynn: (Default)
Im losing the battle of keeping weight off. Not quickly or in epic amounts, but little bits here and there. I've slacked on going to the gym, so that hasnt helped. I feel like my waistline is slowly expanding, and if im not careful, it might just engulf the whole world.

On the plus side, my psychiatrist said that it would probably help me to see a nutritionist and try to figure out what i can do to lose weight with more ease. With the meds Im on, just cutting calories and fat while upping my physical activity might not be enough.

It might also help to stop eating my moms homemade chex mix.

Now to find a nutritionist in Macomb that accepts our insurance.
terrorlynn: (Default)

So, um, Travis bought me a PS2 for Christmas (yes, a TWO, not a three...fuck the cool new stuff). We went out to Game Stop and bought a few games for it. I got DOA2 (silly, especially when I liked DOA3 for Xbox so much) and Devil May Cry (havent played it yet) and Travis got NFL Street 3. Travis really likes it, and I've been watching him play for a bit. What makes me laugh is the fact that you can build your own team and customize it...all the way down to the shape of their noses and the color of their eyebrows. For a very "masculine" game, it seems like those details are pretty feminine. So yeah, funny.

What is also funny is that Travis and I slept til 2 o'clock this afternoon. I went to bed at 1am, and he came to bed around 2:30...but that still doesnt make much sense. Weirder still is that we still both feel like we could take a nap for a few hours. Neither of us are getting sick or anything, but apparently today was just a day for a lot of sleep.

Tonight is a night for work. I really hope we arent that busy, but if our numbers from last night are any indication, Im screwed.

Happy holidays, kids!
terrorlynn: (Default)
weather.com tells me that I will have no snow on Christmas. I will have no snow anywhere near Christmas. In fact, I will most likely have fucking balmy weather all around Christmas.

Needless to say, I am angry.

Now, I know a bunch of you hate winter and are probably dancing your little happy dances for there being no cold weather this year, but let me point something out to you: WINTER SHOULD BE COLD! If you dont like winter, moving to a climate in which there pretty much IS no winter might be in your best interests (except for some of you. I dont want you moving that far away from me.) Im not one of the people that freaks out about global warming all the time or anything. I accept that we are going through a climate change. I do my best to not make things worse. I dont use CFCs, and if I ever drove anywhere further than the square, I'd carpool. But in this case, something is seriously fucked up. I cant remember a Christmas since I went to college that there has been even a morsel of snow on the ground anywhere near Christmas. Hell, I can only remember one Christmas when I was in high school that there was snow! That year, I pretty much said "Fuck the presents; Im going out to play in the snow." It was a fantastic Christmas.

I know Christmas isnt about snow. I know the whole holiday season is supposed to be about loving each other, goodwill, less road rage, all that good shit. But in reality, its just another cause for good old fashioned capitalism at its finest. Most people are worried about getting the Wii or the Extreme Elmo or some stupid shit...so I dont feel all that bad for being pissed about the lack of white, fluffy precipitation in my near future.

In conclusion, if any of you have a snow machine, bring it to my parents house on Christmas. No, scratch that, bring it to my mother-in-laws. My grandpa-in-law loves Christmas and snow, and I know he'd really love to see it this year. Have a fucking heart people. Make it snow.

Oh, and go Bears!
terrorlynn: (Default)

Bears...um...please? Pretty please? Dont fuck us?
terrorlynn: (Default)
Oh boy...I forgot how much quitting soda sucks. I havent had any since yesterday, which also means no caffeine since yesterday. My head is splitting in two and my hands wont stop shaking. This is making me the crabby. I dont like being crabby, so i try to be cheerful, but that just makes me annoyed with myself and thusly, more crabby. Oh, and in case I needed more examples of how much I depend on caffeine to focus and not spaz out, last night I ruined 3 pots of spanish rice. How can you ruin rice, one might ask.

1st pot- After sauteeing the onions and garlic for a bit, i dump in an ENTIRE CAN of petite diced tomatoes...undrained. Annoyed at myself, i manage to siphon off some water and scoop out some of the tomatoes. I then add the water. Without waiting for the water to boil, I promptly add the rice. Pot one, screwed up.

2nd pot- I happily remember that i have half of an onion left from the previous pot. I chop it and sautee it. Since I have no more diced tomatoes, I decide to use some tomato paste to get that yummy tomato flavor. Things are going well. Then, I dump all the rice in to the pot, as if I were making risotto. Pot two, wrecked.

3rd pot- As I am far too enraged to attempt to make my own recipe at this point, I dig out one of those lipton rice thingies. I follow the directions EXACTLY...except for the remembering to stir occasionally. Most of the rice burns to the bottom of the pan. Pot three, ruined, but enough was salvaged to count as a side dish.

So now, here I sit, writing to the interwebz, eating Reeses Pieces for breakfast and wanting a case of soda more than just about anything. I will prevail, dammit. I WILL PREVAIL!
terrorlynn: (Default)
Um...so everyone that talks shit about Rex Grossman can just shut it now.

terrorlynn: (Default)
So, um...Travis pointed something out to me, and my therapist has talked to me about this before, but I guess I dont really understand how to change it. I feel obligated to do whatever people ask of me, even people I dont like. I do things for people, like drive them places or help them move furniture, not always just because its a nice thing for a friend to do, but because i feel like i HAVE to do it. Like maybe, if I didnt do it, if I said no...that person wouldnt like me anymore. Its not just a problem with my friends, but with people I dont even like. I want to do what they ask me. I want to be the person they can always depend on to do what they need/want of me.

I sound like a codependent 13 year old.

I know that isnt what friendship is about, that people will still be my friends if I dont do what they want all the time. And Im getting better at it, but saying no is still really hard for me.

How do I get over this fear and develop a little more of a spine???
terrorlynn: (Default)
Birthday to ben and Kyle, both of whom I drank for tonight. It just took me a very long while to spell "whom." DRINKIES!
terrorlynn: (Default)
So, by accidentally grabbing 400 degree metal at work last night, i've managed to get two second degree burns on my left hand. Its awesome. I wasnt sent to the ER, I wasnt even really asked if I was okay. I was told to be tougher and just get through the shift. I went to the hospital after i went home and told them to send the bill to Magnolias. I got yelled at today when I came to work today for not demanding to be sent to the ER immediately, and told that since I didnt "follow the right steps", Lisa (my boss) would be charged the costs for my hospital visit out of pocket. Even though I came in to work with my hand wrapped in gauze, unable to use it for most anything, I still worked my ass off. I still got told to work harder, and to just tough it out. It took a chafing dish landing on my hand and me throwing up a bit from the pain just to get allowed to go home.

I hate everyone that is above me in the work pecking order. Im really tempted to quit, but I brought my food processor in tonight to grate cheese and forgot it. So...I need that back. But for the love of god, this is just cruel. What could I have done to deserve being treated so poorly?
terrorlynn: (Default)
After rewatching the "Family Values" episode of Bullshit, rereading a few more articles, and generally ust checking that my feelings are the same...

What the fuck is wrong with letting gay people get married? What is wrong with polyamorous couples? What is wrong with either of those groups raising children?!

Ugh. It bothers me so badly that I just want to call up Amity to borrow a spikey bat and head after people that make those I care about feel badly. Also, the whole gay-to-straight thing just makes me want to strangle people.

Goodness...why can't we just leave peoples bedrooms alone?

Oh, and speaking of things that creep me out, read this: http://www.alternet.org/story/44254/

Off to work!
terrorlynn: (Default)
Damn it all. Damn it all to hell and back. I had better get a really really really really good recommendation out of both of these jobs. I work 10-5 here at Monets today because Agnes had another hand surgery yesterday, and my boss Jimmy just called me and got me to work at Magnolias right after. Except the part where I walk the mile home to grab a different t-shirt, go to the bathroom, drop off my backpack with my expensive computer, and walk the mile back. You know what? Maybe I'll just wear a chefs jacket instead of an apron in order to save this t-shirt (one of my favorites), hide my backpack under the pastry table where no one goes, scarf dinner somewhere here on the square, and skip the walking. Yeah...sounds great.

I will get a good reference from these people. Magnolias can be fun. They promised me that tonight isnt too busy.

Maybe they're lying.

Either way, good reference. Lisa (my boss at Magnolias) has even said that the people that accept extra hours on a regular basis are her favorites and will always get higher praise from her. I like praise.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that Travis will be home early tonight...so at least I wont have to walk home alone from work in the dark. Thats a perk.
terrorlynn: (Default)
Alright, so here's your several times a year post that Im sure you're all sick of by now.

Do other people feel like they have random bursts of crazy? Like, not the occasional desire to murder someone that cuts you off in traffic or to poison the water supply of a lady who took the last loaf of french bread at the supermarket, but more like the "I cant stand the way that I look anymore, so I just start running and running, imagining the fat melting off my bones every time my feet hit the pavement," type crazy. The "My body feels like its filled up with all the little day to day lies and bullshit and I feel the nearly overwhelming compulsion to tell everyone every bad thing I've ever done," type crazy. Is this just part of the bipolar? Is this some other crazy? It seems to happen about once a week, for about a day. There will be some thought that my brain just latches on to and cant stop repeating. I rarely act on whatever my brain is obsessing on, but Im getting really sick of having to deal with it. I was able to get back on my medicine way sooner than I thought I would be able to (thank god for phone in prescriptions and promises of blood level checks at my next appointments), so I know Im not just being weird off my medicine or something akin to that.

Sometimes, I get really really tired of feeling different and crazy. Well, I guess that sentence should just read, "Im really really sick of feeling different and crazy," as it isnt really a sometimes kind of deal.

terrorlynn: (Default)
Oh, my Bears. You break my heart and then mend it back together with the glue of beautiful success.

I love and hate being a fan sometimes.

As it is, Im really just missing my baby.
terrorlynn: (Default)
May any deity that is listening further damn this horrible little town.

The only decent Chinese restaurant is closing as of December 1st, because the owner is moving to Chicago.

God damn it all :(
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