(no subject)

[terrorlynn]

I just had a horrible realization (they happen a lot when im left alone to think too much).

I've always wanted kids. Particularly, I've always wanted babies. When they get older, they rock, but Im really partial to babies.

I think this is because I want something/someone that needs me. Not just needs me to do certain things, but inherently NEEDS me to continue to exist.

I need to be needed in order to feel good about myself. I can bust my ass for people over and over and over again, as long as I feel like whatever I've done for them can only be done by me.

I want my husband home now.

Comments

[uncle-twitchy.livejournal.com]

Of course you do and of course you do.

Patience, my dear.

I'll be picking you up 'bout a quarter to 7 -- even though rehearsal is scheduled to start after the Membership meeting, I have to be there as a Board Member.

So much to tell you...

[libraterra.livejournal.com]

*nods* I totally understand. It's a crazy/awesome feeling to know that I need to exist for Chase. I love it.

[terrorlynn.livejournal.com]

Chase rocks. That is all :)

[chuckdawg.livejournal.com]

I've read your post a few times, and here's my question:

Do you consider this desire to be needed to be good or bad? Or more accurately, do you consider it constructive or destructive to your general well-being? Is it healthy or unhealthy?

I've been wrestling with this concept myself recently, not in terms of babies, but in general. I think that those who have a need to be needed can end up in some pretty unhealthy situations if left unchecked. So does that mean that needing to be needed is something that needs to be treated like a disorder?

I'm not calling anyone crazy, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think the same way as you most of the time. I'm just curious as to how that desire has affected my life and the lives of those around me.

[terrorlynn.livejournal.com]

I feel like its a bad desire. I think its a good think to want to be involved in the lives of people around you, it builds a solid social network. But when it becomes as onesided as some of my interactions have, it crosses the line from trying to be a commited and involved friend in to dependency.

I guess that wanting to be needed is okay (in my mind), but NEEDING to be needed is a bit unhealthy.

[citrinepoint.livejournal.com]

ugh. You'd be surprised how quickly that little daydream of wanting to be needed 24/7 wears off.

[terrorlynn.livejournal.com]

*laughs*

Well, in some ways, it already has. When I would babysit Todd and G's little sweetheart Bethany, it was great...most of the time. Then one day, while I was burping her, she just randomly decided to start screaming in my ear like there was no tomorrow. She sunk her little hands in to my shirt and screamed even louder when I tried to move her at all.

I had never been so excited to see Genesis in all my life.

Babies, in particular, are great in theory...but they do get tiring in reality. I just forget that sometimes when I havent been around one in a while.

[citrinepoint.livejournal.com]

It's not just babies. I've been trying to get Sophia to clean her freaking room for the past hour.

[farawaypoints.livejournal.com]

I think this is because I want something/someone that needs me. Not just needs me to do certain things, but inherently NEEDS me to continue to exist.

I think I would be a terrible mom, for that reason and that reason alone.

[terrorlynn.livejournal.com]

*shrugs* Maybe. I dont know you well enough to guess accurately at your parenting skills. I do feel like I know you well enough to know that you would be one HELL of a rocking aunt, though. You would rock the house as an aunt.

[shimmerngspirit.livejournal.com]

*blinks* You are one of the few people I know who's ability to parent I would never question.

[farawaypoints.livejournal.com]

I'm trying to talk myself out of it instead of getting my hopes up. Above all things, I hate to be disappointed.

[cheetahvet.livejournal.com]

I know it's not the same, but I need you. I love you. I can't believe how different life is without you in the same town. It's tough, but you will pull through, just like last time. I'm glad you're not in therapy, cuz it'd just be another expense. I look forward to when you live in Chicago.

I miss you. I love you. I need you, more than you'll know.

[nhyrvana.livejournal.com]

I need you to call me sometime very soon.

-emily

[spirit-of-zen.livejournal.com]

Hey Jour Jour, doesnt Colonel Sanders try to sell all his chicken?

as for you Terrorlynn, just hang in there girl! You will have a little one some day, until then, you can get your baby fix by watching Chase.

really... anytime you want...

*listens to Chase cry for more pop tarts*

please????

[rinifer.livejournal.com]

Is that a lot or a little? Because, let's face it, Colonel Sanders has chicken. Like...lots.

I echo the wise words of uncle_twitchy, the easier-said-than-done "Patience". You cannot put them back and it is illegal to try.

[libraterra.livejournal.com]

not anymore! now they have "drop zones" where you can do with no penalty as long as you do it at a designated location! :P

[rinifer.livejournal.com]

lol...not if you decide that you're done being needed at age 10!

[pensylvania-joe.livejournal.com]

I keep telling you man, you're NOT a pimp. Quit tryin.